It happened again. It was a beautiful, sunny, perfect day. I was relaxed and at rest on the couch and having a conversation with a great friend. And it happened… again.
The conversation that morning began light and fun. But it took a subtle turn as the conversation drifted into deeper water (difficult issues about life and struggles and people). I began drifting into an all too familiar self-righteousness, a “Holier than thou” way of thinking.
You’ve seen this happen… some people make it sound better, calling it a “soapbox”. It usually occurs when someone feels like they have a certain thing “figured out”, nailed, are living it well, and so they begin to “tell it like it is.” Unaware, intentionally or not, they begin to look down on and minimize those who don’t have it figured out, who aren’t living it as well, who aren’t doing it ‘right’.
I get like this sometimes. I boil down complex issues to a single sentence, a simple tip, technique, or bit of advice. “If they had only done x, y, and z. this wouldn’t have happened!” “Don’t they know the bible says xyz about that?!” “They are just messed up.” “They brought it upon themselves!” “All you gotta do is…” And on it goes.
I might have gone along unaware of myself and my impact, until when, with feet planted firmly on my soapbox from which I’m expertly diagnosing and solving yet another of the world’s problems, I’m stopped dead in my tracks — utterly halted by a simple, loving act.
A Mirror. My friend held up a mirror. And in it I saw a glimpse of the fruit that is my life.
My life wasn’t bearing the fruit I hoped it would. Continue reading “Fruit And Mirrors (The Benefits of Checking Your Blind-Spots)”
What does “love” look like? I was talking to God the other day and He asked me that question.
. . .
Well… it looks like spending time with someone.
— then spend time with someone.
And, it looks like research.
— then get to know someone. Really learn about them, their heart, their desires, what matters to them.
And, it looks like sacrifice.
— then, give up that thing that is standing in your way [from doing the above]
It seems so hard. I mean to really love. If feels beyond my ability.
— It is a marathon, not a sprint. Learning to really love takes time. It is a journey that requires healing and compassion and trust. It doesn’t happen all at once. Stop beating yourself up. Make the decision to head down this path. And remain open and mindful of “what love looks like” to you.
Maybe Love isn’t as far away as it seems.
What does love look like to you? Would you be willing to have this conversation with God?
Try it and see where it leads. I’d love to hear what he says to you.
It’s been a while since I’ve written. I have to admit, I’ve really struggled lately to stay focused. It is easy to slide into a funk when the busyness and chaos of life edge their way in. And I don’t mean to imply “bad” things have happened. Actually, some really good things have been going on. In April, my small “band of brothers” and I hosted another LIFEQUESTweekend Retreat (a 3-day Retreat for men, a place for them to come and focus and replenish and recalibrate for the journey ahead). It was an amazing, truly amazing weekend. And, since then I’ve spent a lot of time around family and friends, rebuilding and strengthening bonds. These are really good things. But with these things it has come a whirlwind of activity. And, I’ve struggled to Continue reading “Waking up again to the point of it all”